grandpa

I’ve been putting this post off for far too long.  I think I’ve been afraid to be vulnerable on this blog, but honestly, I think this is the closure I need.  Blogging is my creative outlet and a way for me to get out my thoughts.  So, please bare with me as I get a little emotional with this post…

Last week was a roller coaster of emotions.  From the happiness + tears of joy for one of my best friends on her wedding day to grief + tears of sadness at the loss of my grandfather the same day.  But, I don’t really think the weight of my grandfather’s death really hit me until we started walking down the aisle behind his casket at the funeral.

When my aunt asked us to share some Grandpa memories, I honestly couldn’t think of any… and I think that is because there are too many to count.  He was the best grandfather I could have possibly asked for and I am so blessed to have gotten to spend 26 years of my life with him.

This past summer, I was fortunate enough to spend a lot of time visiting him in the nursing home.  Although I hate that my last memories of him are of him in pain and telling us some crazy [albeit pretty funny] stories, I loved that I got to spend that much time with him before he passed away.

At one point this summer, Grandpa was put on some appetite stimulants, so I brought him cookies pretty regularly to help him put back on some weight he had lost while in the nursing home.  He actually called me one morning and told me to hurry up and bring him more cookies!  Luckily, I love to bake, and had some time on my hands [since I was jobless], so that was never a problem!

So, in memory of my grandpa, I made one last batch of cookies this weekend.  I had some extra ripe bananas that I really needed to use and it just so happened that Angela [Oh She Glows] posted a recipe for some Oatmeal Banana Cookie Bites that sounded amazing.  [You can check out her blog for the recipe.  Her photos are also extraordinary + put mine to shame.]

These taste just like chocolate chip banana bread and they are DElicious!  The only change I made was that I used sweetened coconut, just because that’s what I had on hand + because I think it tastes WAY better.  I also used a cookie disher to put them on the pan, so they ended up making 25, instead of 17. 

They are the perfect one-bite cookie… great for Grandpa since he had difficulty holding things after losing some feeling in his hands + feet.

I will truly miss my grandpa more than I thought was possible.  He was an amazing man.  Of all the things I will take away from my 26 years with him were that FAITH + FAMILY are the most important things in life. 

All 9 of his grandchildren [I’m smack-dab in the middle] went to Lutheran grade schools and he was actively involved in both his church + the local Lutheran high school that my aunts + dad went to and where my brother now teaches.  His Bible was tattered + torn from writing sermon notes every Sunday in the front pew of church.  He taught Sunday School for years and I don’t think he EVER missed a church service until the bus broke down and couldn’t pick him up at the nursing home.

If it wasn’t for my faith in God, I don’t know what would be getting me through this difficult time.  My grandpa has so much to do with my faith and I will never forget that or let that go by the wayside.  Unfortunately, my future children will probably not go through the Lutheran school system, but you better believe they will be raised in a loving, Christian household the way I was and the way my parents both were.  It’s my faith that keeps me afloat day in and day out.

Grandpa, you will be dearly missed.  As our Grandparents Day assembly at school approaches, I will be thinking about you.  I know you would’ve been there to share your wonderful stories and brag about how you have the oldest grandchild in the school.  Thank you for everything you have taught me and for loving me unconditionally.  Not a day will go by that I won’t think of you…